Vatican Responds to Rumors of U.S. Takeover Plot

ROME: On Wednesday, Vatican spokesman Cardinal DeFrackingo Cleancoalio responded to the numerous press inquiries the Vatican has received since your Correspondent reported on a Vatican plot to take over the U.S. Presidency through either one of the Vice-Presidential Candidates and impose Canon law on the United States.

“The Rumors are Groundless,” the Cardinal stated. “The Catholic Church opposes the taking of human life in any fashion so there could be no succession orchestrated by the Church.” When asked whether the Church had considered Republican plans to strip citizenship from U.S. born children and grandchildren of undocumented immigrants, the Cardinal admitted that while the consequences of a self-deportation by a President Romney had been the topic of conversation in the Vatican, it was not a workable plan. He reminded reporters that the Church opposed both abortion and the death penalty, making both Vice-Presidential Candidates “Bad Catholics” and “Bad Candidates.” “We will have to wait for another election and other candidates to take over the United States and compel obedience by apostate American Catholics like Rep. Ryan and Vice-President Biden” he mused.

By Special Correspondent Thomas Colobus

Editor’s Note: OMG Mr. Colobus is a genius. We can’t say it publicly {thus the subscriber only status on this article}, but if ALL illegal aliens self-deport that would have to include Obama–making Biden The Catholic President!

PS: This is satire if you haven’t figured that out but has an edge of truth…

[Source: Trudge Report]

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One response to “Vatican Responds to Rumors of U.S. Takeover Plot

  1. Bullcrap.

    The catholic church has taken over there are no protestants in any important government office. Witness the supreme court.

    And you cant count ecumenicals as protestant because bowing to the pope at ecumnical conferences is not exactly “protesting”.

    Like

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